It's A Wash . . .

I pride myself on looking like I can do it all. I’m a wife and mother of four small kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. I am also a full-time legal analyst for a corporation.  I can usually handle many loads at one time (at least I look like I can and come on people isn’t that what it’s all about?).  I like to think of myself as a well functioning washing machine.

I've always been able to wash the whites, darks, and colors of life with no minimal issues.  I'm not going to lie, I find myself malfunctioning on ocassion. This is one of those times.

The kids, the marriage, the full time job, the errands, the house cleaning, all the running around, etc.  My cycle is on Overload!!!!

It started about 3 weeks ago. I was talking to my boss in the hallway at work and she mentioned that her friend's 12 year old son was killed in a tragic horseback riding accident. My cycle goes to Heavy Duty.

Then less than a week later, I heard about another friend’s friend whose 12 year old son drowned in a bizarre flash flood accident.  My cycle turns to Bulky Items.

Add to that, my childhood priest, who I wasn’t great friends with but was a mainstay during basically my whole life, passed away.   My cycle hits Drain.

And the laundry just starts piling up and ultimately becomes out of control. Throw on the pile the fact that I’m going to be turning 40-something in a couple of weeks, I’m 15 pounds overweight, and of course the holiday season is approaching.  See how this goes?  Soak Cycle.

How do these kinds of freak accidents happen to children? How will these families go on? Why is death apart of life? How am I turning 40-something?  Where did these extra 15 pounds come from?  How did this become about me?

As I sat at the funeral for the priest last night, I found myself sad obviously for the loss of a great man but sad for ME. I was actually sitting in a pew at a funeral for someone else and I was feeling sorry for MYSELF. Why wasn’t my family there with me? Why am I at a funeral alone? I sat there second guessing my decisions regarding the kids. Am I protecting them enough? Are they safe at school? Are they in danger now? And of course the daily stuff: What’s for dinner? Do I have a $5.00 bill in my purse to give to Lady E for a school field trip? Do we have enough milk in the refrigerator for tomorrow's breakfast? Spin Spin Spin Spin!!!!!!

I don’t have a magic laundry soap to wash it all away and I can't Shout It Out. I don’t have a magic pill I can take to do a Quick Wash (even though tons of my friends tell me there are pills out there that do that).  But here is what I can do.  I can turn my knob to delicate, take a deep breathe, and rinse and repeat until everything is o.k. in my laundry room again.

Ok, I’m not going to lie, I will probably go out and buy that purse I have been eyeballing for months and have a giant bowl of ice cream while I watch the Cardinals (hopefully) beat the Phillies tonight.

Hey, you got to do what you got to do to get your machine up and running properly!!!!